September Recap

November 02, 2015

Paige learned a lot in September on her mission.

"I hit rock bottom this week. On Thursday we went tracting for a couple hours and were rejected by every single person. Then we got to this house that I will never forget. We met a guy named Bob. We started getting to know him and before we knew it, he had started talking about Joseph Smith. He told us that Joseph was not a prophet. He has never made a prophecy that has come true and he was a complete fraud and was a false prophet. We tried to counter his claims but he was not having any of that. Then I just bore my testimony of the Book of Mormon and said that I knew it was true and therefore, that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

Then he said, "That's what I hate about missionaries. They can't answer to any of the issues there are with Joseph Smith. They just tell me they "know" hes a prophet. Its pretty pathetic."

I didn't know what the heck to say to that. My stomach was in knots and I felt my eyes filling with tears. We just thanked him for his time and dejectedly walked away. The rest of the day was the worst! I silently pleaded with Heavenly Father to help me know if Joseph Smith really was a false prophet. Of course with my worry-wart personality, I went through the "what ifs". What if Joseph Smith really was a fraud? Then everything I've believed my whole life isn't true! I shouldn't be out serving a mission. I won't be able to go back to BYU. I'll have to give up everything my entire life has been based on. What am I going to do?

I really thought I would have to come home from my mission. I planned on calling my mission president and telling him I couldn't do this anymore. . .

I know Heavenly Father gives us challenges and adversity for a reason. He doesn't test us above that which we can handle. I needed Bob to challenge my testimony so that I could grow stronger in my conviction of what I know to be true.

I am finally learning how Heavenly Father answers my prayers! Before my mission, I often felt like my prayers would go unanswered. My problem was not that Heavenly Father wasn't answering but that I wasn't seeking for or recognizing those answers. I often expected a "warm fuzzy feeling" to wash over me. This is how the Holy Ghost is often described but I think a lot of times we forget how many other ways the Spirit can speak to us. Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself. He knows that I am more of a factual, logical person than a touchy-feely person. He knows that if I were to just get a warm feeling in response to a prayer, I would probably doubt that it really meant anything. The way that I receive revelation is through studying for my answers and having more of a "enlightening of the mind" experience than a "burning of the bosom experience.

I am so thankful for the power of prayer. I'm so thankful to be here in Idaho learning these lessons that will benefit me for the rest of my life.

Needless to say, I'm not coming home early :)"